Watch Out It’s Messy In Here

I have lots of tri buddies.  Some are slower, most are faster.  I have friends I talk about training with.  Friends who I run with, friends I bike with, friends I swim with.  I have friends I motivate and friends who motivate me.  There are my tri heroes, my tri coaches, and even my tri enemies.  Everyone I have met in real life or chatted with on line because of triathlon has a special place in my tri life.  Love or hate, they have all gotten me to where I am in the sport. There are also several people who I have met who have been more than just an influence to me as an athlete.  They have become great friends who have helped me through some of the most difficult days of my life.  They have called, texted, dropped by.  Dragged me out for a swim, bike or run when I needed most to stop thinking.  They have gotten me to where I am in life. There is one person who has become a big part of my life because of triathlon who less than ...

Yesterday was my first tri of the season.  It was also my first tri since he moved out.  My first tri since my hospital stay, and my first tri with out my original training buddy Missy who originally motivated me to tri in the first place. It was also my first tri on meds, and my first tri with my period (i know tmi, but it was an unneeded stressor)  Not to mention my first tri season with out a coach.  Needless to say, I wasn't feeling ready for it.  About a week before I told a few friends that I quit.  That I wasn't doing it.  That I knew I couldn't.  I had so much self doubt, and the voice of one former "friend" telling me I didn't have what it would take kept ringing in my ear.  A couple of my friends said, ok, if that's what you want, we will support you.  But Kristin wasn't having it.  Her text to me went something like this:  it's a sold out race, you took a spot that someone else could have had, you owe it to them t...

I did not write my last blog post looking for handouts.  I was just venting about the system.  That's all I wanted to do.  I actually took my entire blog down, and deleted all of my Facebook posts about the situation because of the responses.  Not bad responses.  I was being inundated with offers of help.  I turned down all of the ones that were offered, but there were some that just literally showed up at my door.  I would like to thank each and every one of you who offered assistance and for those who gave help.  I am truly blessed to be surrounded by friends and family who are so caring and generous.  I can only hope that I am able to pay it forward in the future. Thank You!

My sister sent me this yesterday morning: i shall fight for what i want in life. i shall not feel defeated until i see no other options or there is no fight left in me. i shall not let obstacles get in my way. i shall keep on unless i no longer want what i currently desire. i shall wish for the best and with all my might hope for the best and pray everything works out for the best! i can be no one other than me.  And a friend of mine shared this song with me earlier in the week:  Brand New Day by Joshua Radin   And every day I am getting email, texts, phone calls, cards, Facebook messages, and tweets from people with words of wisdom, or just general support.  Thank you to everyone.  I truly do appreciate the outpouring of love from you all.  I may not be wealthy financially, but I am definitely rich in friends. And here are some quotes that inspire me, lift me up, make laugh, or make me cry.  But they are all quotes that I believe pertain t...

I have the most amazing group of friends. Both my "real" or irl (in real life) friends and my on-line friends have been so supportive these last few months. Every time I'm down in the dumps, and ready to throw in the towel, somebody is there to pick me back up, dust me off, and point me in the right direction. So many of them have believed in me when I no longer believed in myself. And this is true in both my every day life, and my training. There are many days I only get out of bed because there are two boys who count on me. And I cry in the shower because it's the only place I know they won't see me. By the time I get to work on those days, I'm ready to turn around, drive home, crawl into bed, and pull the covers over my head because I just don't think I can do it. Then, I log on to Twitter, or Facebook, or BabyCenter, and somebody, somewhere makes me feel loved. They make me realize that I'm going to be ok, I'm going to survive. Things ...