Watch Out It’s Messy In Here

My training buddy Erin and I set out for an hour ride from my house last night. She was not in the mood for real hilly, so I did my best to avoid the big ones (and in my neck of the woods, we have big hills aplenty). We were on some main roads, and it was raining off and on, so we kept our speed on the cautious side. But at some point, if we wanted to get back to my house, there was going to have to be a hill. Unfortunately, the hill was shortly after an intersection, and I completely lost my momentum, and my energy, and had to walk up the hill. I've done this hill in the past, it's not that bad, but it must have just been the perfect storm of wet, tired, and under fueled that stopped me from making it this time. Erin had no idea where we were most of the time, so she was behind me, getting the spray from my tires in her face. She also had the pleasure of getting to stare at my hot pink underwear that was clear as day through my black compression shorts. I guess it's...

Yesterday Sucked.  Plain and simple.  It was an emotionally draining day, that left me feeling empty.  It was the anniversary of the suicide of my sister-in-law's sister.  I went to the memorial mass during my lunch break, to show her my support.  Sitting in the pew behind them, watching her mother shake, crying, still devastated by the heartache of losing her daughter three years ago.  Seeing her father, and the broken man he has become.  And my SIL, who still asks why.  Who blames herself.  Who wishes she could go be with her sister, because she is so lost with out her.  The reason this was so difficult for me this year was because I almost caused this pain to my parents and my sister.  I almost broke the hearts of two little boys.  I was so close to committing the most selfish act humanly possible.  Sitting there, I was over come with guilt, knowing that those three broken souls in front of me could have been my mom, an...

This is my 100th blog post.  And I really wanted it to be deep, and meaningful and inspirational.  I truly wanted to motivate you all.  I've been putting off writing a post so that this 100th one would be special.  But, I am not feeling it.  Apparently, my happy pills don't cure PMS.  That bitch on wheels week leading up to my period isn't going to go away.  I was really hoping I wouldn't get quite as "hormonal" now, but, I was wrong.  Sorry.  I think everyone around me suffers more than I do.  Maybe I have PMDD, I should ask at my next appointment.  Maybe I can get more drugs! So, aside from my female problems, I do have some goodness to report.  I am officially back in the saddle again. I got the trainer from Kristin on Sunday afternoon.  She is letting me borrow it until I get my own or she needs it.  I am so grateful!  And I am also very out of shape.  I may be at one of my lowest weights of my adult...