Watch Out It’s Messy In Here

I got a swim in tonight.  I kept putting off going to the Y.  Coming up with excuses not to go.  Almost accepted an invite to meet friends at a movie that I really want to see.  But, then I remembered that I have some accountability this season.  I need to show my good friends at Train-This that they didn't make a mistake with their generous gift.  Sitting home, watching crappy re-runs, and eating pumpkin pie are not going to make me a better triathlete.  My boys were at their fathers, so I really had no excuse not to go jump in the pool.  So, I packed my bag, and off I went.  My biggest problem with swimming on my own is that I never can keep track of what I've done.  Was that 50, or 100?   So usually, I just pick a time limit and swim until the designated time.  Another problem I have is I think too much.  That might be why I lose track.  Tonight's train of thought was, how the heck am I going to do this with no guidance?  My first year I had a friend who coached me, a

I never used to make New Year's Resolutions.  I found them silly.  A waste of time, since few people ever stuck to them.  Then, in 2009 I made a two part resolution.  Part one was to put myself first, to make 2009 the year of Caroline.  Part 2 was to run a 5k by years end.  The two relied on each other.  I needed to make time for myself in order to start running.  And having a goal made sure that I was actually doing something for me for a change.  My boys had always come first.  As did my husband.  I never made plans for myself without first making sure that everyone else was taken care of.  If the husband wanted to go out, I would just stay home.  If there was a birthday party to go to, I would make sure they got to the party.  New clothes, kids come first, I can wear whatever fits.  You get the point.  I needed to start worrying about my own happiness as much as everyone else's.  I needed to remember that I mattered too. That resolution changed my life.  In both good and b

Here is a rambling, post full of unconnected paragraphs: I ran yesterday.  It was freezing, but my no excuses plan had to stay in place.  So I bundled up, laced up, stretched, and headed out for a run.  I had decided to do my short, 2 mile loop.  That way, if I started to hurt, I wouldn't be too far from home to walk back, regardless of where I was in the run.  But the pain never came.  My knee held out the entire time.  My face was frozen solid, but there was no pain.  This is such a relief!  I was so scared that even after over a month of rest, I would be hurting still.  I will ease back into it, but hope to be running every day very soon. My parents got me a head lamp for Christmas.  I'm looking forward to using it soon.  But for now, Bubba has claimed it as his own.  He is blinding me with it on an hourly basis.  Now I'm worried that it might temporarily blind oncoming drivers and make them hit me.  It has three different settings.  I'll keep playing around to s

Today I will end my "off season."  It has been over a month since I last attempted to run.  I've been swimming several times, but haven't biked at all.  Now that the craziness of the holidays is over, I will not allow myself to have any more excuses.  I don't have an indoor trainer or a treadmill, but the Y has spin bikes and treadmills.  I'm going to search for an online training program, and start following it.  Today will be a simple, short, easy run.  To make sure the pain is really gone from my knee.  Of course it's only 10 degrees out with a windchill below zero.  That will either make me run really fast, or cut my run really short.  Only time will tell! I'm also going to get back on the healthy eating band wagon.  I have a confession.  I've lost over 10 pounds in a little over a week.  I went days without eating a meal.  I had small snacks, but there were several 24 hour periods when I didn't have anything more than coffee.  I know tha

I am filled with the Christmas Spirit this year.  There are lots of reasons I shouldn't be.  But even more reasons that I should.  I didn't send out cards, and I've only purchased two gifts this year (one for each boy).  But Christmas isn't about things.  It's about people.  It's about God's gift to us.  I have two wonderful sons, who fill my life with joy, and pride, and love.  Who make me realize every day how needed I am.  They are the two greatest gifts I have ever been given. I have wonderful friends.  Friends who know when to call, or write, or stop by.  Friends who make sure I am never alone.  I am healthy.  And so are my boys.  What more could I ask. I have triathlon.  And a race schedule.  Now I need to come up with a training program, so I can set a few PRs this year.  I have hope.  Hope that my future will be happy, and successful.  Merry Christmas my friends.  May you find peace, and love, and have a holiday filled with family and fri

My last post was asking for advice on which of two triathlons to register for first, knowing that both will sell out.  I got advice from lots of people, via twitter, comments, and emails.  Of course, the advice was about 50/50 as to which one to take a gamble on.  One comment, however, was the decision making comment.  Not at the moment I read it, but not long after. ironmomma.com said... PS; Can you send me your email? maryeggers@gmail.com...... I have something for you :-) So, curious, I sent Mary my email address.  We exchanged a few pleasant emails, and she let me know something was on it's way.  Just the fact that Mary reads my blog is overwhelming.  I admire Mary greatly, not just as a triathlete but as a person, and a mother.  I read Mary's blog every day.  The first time she commented on my blog I was "star struck".  We've never met.  She is Coach Kelly's coach.  That's how I found her in the first place, by clicking on a link in one of Tri

Two races that I very much want to do open for registration next week. Syracuse Iron Girl opens on December 31st.  Green Lakes Sprint Triathlon opens January 3rd.  Both will sell out.  The question is, which will sell out first.  Or, which one am I more willing to not get in?  I only have the money to register for one with next weeks pay check. How do I decide which one to register for first? Iron Girl was my first ever triathlon.  I loved the event both years I've done it so far.  I have made some wonderful, lifelong friends because of Iron Girl.  Plus, it's only guaranteed to come to Syracuse for three years.   This could be the last year I can do Iron Girl. I've never done Green Lakes.  But I really want to.  It would start my tri season this year (unless I can do Rev3 Quassy).  It's a great course.  And I've wanted to do it for the past two years, but it sold out before I could register both years.  What should I do?  Register for Green Lakes first, assuming

I just finished watching Kona with my 14 year old son.  He doesn't get why anyone would want to swim, bike, run.  And he really doesn't get why anyone would want to do 140.6 miles in the heat of Hawaii. While out on the bike course, passing and being passed, you are always being routed on.  On the run course, you give words of encouragement to your competitors.  At Kona, the two men who were neck in neck for first place with only 3 miles to go shook hands.  The first place finishers come back and congratulate the final finishers hours later.  What other sport has such sportsmanship?  Where else can you be cheered on by the person you are now beating? And it's not the winners of Kona who inspire me.  It's the people who barely finish.  The ones who cross with seconds to spare.  The man who just beat cancer who kisses the ground at the finish line, or the father and son who cross the finish hand in hand.  The man who got a DNF last year, and comes back this year to tr

One of the security questions that I could pick for a website that I need to log in to occasionally was "What was he last name of your favorite teacher?" Now, it's been quite some time since I was in school, with teachers that you actually got to know.  College professors, who you see once or twice a week aren't the kind of people you create a bond with.  But, I have no trouble coming up with the answer to that question. Mr. Brown was a health teacher at my high school, he was the athletic trainer as well.  He also taught the class "Tools for Change".  This class was an elective that you could take, and I signed up for it my senior year thinking it would be an easy A.  You basically learned methods for coping with being a teenager.   And Mr. Brown was fun.  We didn't sit at desks, heck, sometimes we didn't even sit in chairs.  This was a relaxing period, during a stressful year. It shouldn't have been an elective.  It should have been required

I have an addiction.  It's not drugs.  I don't smoke.  I don't even really drink alcohol.  But I do have a nasty habit.  I am a Carboholic.  Little Debbie and I are the best of friends.  I would switch teams for that girl, and move to a state that allowed same sex marriage if she were real. Mrs. Smith is quite high on my list of idols.  Sara Lee would be welcome in my house any day. A bag of potato chips doesn't stand a chance around me. Don't even get me started on fresh Italian bread... Seriously.  If it were possible to live on carbs alone I would do it.  Veggies and protein are only consumed out of necessity, but my starches are consumed out of love. For example.  The soon to be ex used to do all of the grocery shopping.  He did the cooking, so it only made sense that the person who planned and made the meals shopped for them, right?  One Spring he sprained his ankle, and couldn't drive, let alone hobble through the super market.  That left it

I know.  Officially, according to the calender, winter hasn't even officially begun.  But I am ready for it to be over already. I've lived here my entire life.  I should be used to the white stuff.  Somehow, this year, I just can't take it.  Today on the way home from work I went off the road.  I've never gone off the road before.  After a panicked phone call to the soon to be ex, and then to the sitter to let her know I was going to be late, I called AAA.  While on hold listening to how busy they were, I got myself back and the road, and crawled the rest of the way home.  It's my tires.  I know that.  I didn't get them rotated, and now the front ones are bald.  The ex is working on new snow tires for me.  But, regardless, I'm done.  Done with winter.  Done with upstate NY weather.   Done, Done, Done! The good news, my sitter rocks and didn't care that I was going to be late, and thankfully my wonderful neighbors cleared my driveway, yet again so no s

Last night we had tri swim clinic.  I love ending my weekend this way.  Some of my best tri buddies are in the class, and it's just a great way to unwind and get ready for the week ahead.  I had to miss the last two because of family obligations one week, and a sick Bubba and a blizzard last week.  I had decided that regardless of weather or children I was going to make it yesterday.  And I did. One of the weeks I missed my Sunday class, a group of us went to swim one evening right before master's swim. Because we were in the lane next to them when they started, one of the women could see me swim under water.  I've been critiqued from the deck of the pool, but never from in the water.  This woman asked if she could give me advice.  Advise away my dear!  I will never turn down help from someone who is good enough to go to masters swim.  She said I bend my knees when I kick.  Creating drag.  Apparently, you're supposed to kick from your hips when you swim.  Who knew?  N

How possible is it to be truly successful at the sport of triathlon on a shoestring budget?  What if being willing to give it your all emotionally, mentally and physically isn't good enough when you don't have the finances to back up the ambition?  How can an unsponsored, newly single mom, with a meager salary, survive the world of triathlon? My first triathlon happened because of a challenge from a friend.  My only goal had been to finish.  I borrowed a bike from a friend who had only done one half and one IronMan, and then retired from the sport.  My parents bought me a wetsuit for my birthday.  I bought a cheap pair of sneaks to run and bike in.  And all of my training was done on the side of the road and in public pools.  The only thing my first Iron Girl cost me was time and the entry fee. My second tri season, I joined the Y for use of the pool, my parents bought me a new bike, and I invested in better sneakers.  I also joined the local tri club for more opportunities

How does one come up with a race schedule?  How do you know what is too much, and what is not enough?  For 2010 I had lofty goals, but then life took an interesting turn and I ended up doing only one sprint tri, and a couple of road races.  Not at all what I had anticipated, but I won't dwell on the past.  Time to focus on the future. So, I've been tentatively thinking of what events are a must, and what events are wishful thinking.  Here is what I've come up with so far: Running Races: Tipp Hill Shamrock Run 4 mile hilly road run in early March Mountain Goat 10 mile, challenging course, early May.  Kicked my butt in 2010, I plan on owning it in 2011 Boilermaker 15k on July 10th Empire State Marathon - my first 26.2!  There will be a few 5ks and 10ks as well, but those will be time and financially based.  My only goal is to run a 5k and get below 25 minutes.  Might seem silly to some, but for me, it would be a great time.  I also need to find a half marathon to

I've posted about music before.  Music always helps me.  It helps me be happy, aids me in being miserable, pumps me up, brings me down.  There are now songs I can't listen to.  Our wedding song is one.  But I decided that I need a new theme song.  Sweet Caroline was not an option.  I needed something that made me think about how awesome my life was going to be.  Thanks to Kristin I have one.  If I have to listen to this song 25 times a day to remind myself that I am wonderful, I will.  It sums it all up so well. Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting through the wind Wanting to start again Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of cards One blow from caving in Do you ever feel already buried deep Six feet under scream But no one seems to hear a thing Do you know that there's still a chance for you Cause there's a spark in you You just gotta ignite the light And let it shine Just own the night Like the Fourth of July Cause baby you

The last few days I have been in a not so great place.  I had friends suggesting I call the suicide prevention hotline.  I didn't eat for several days.  Things got ugly between soon to be ex and I.  Add to that many feet of snow falling at once, and I'm a wreck.  This morning was horrible.  The waist high snow bank at the foot of my driveway, the no longer present husband to help dig me out, and the impossible driving conditions once my neighbors rescued Ruby from the mounds of snow.  I got stuck going up the street to my sitters, stuck in her driveway, and almost pulled over and gave up on the way to work several times.  I was litterally in tears by the time I pulled into the unplowed parking lot at work.  The feeling in my chest that has been present since Friday afternoon was slowly taking me over.  I was going to snap. Then, I sat at my desk, and was trying to figure out who to call.  Who to tell that I might not be ok.  That maybe I should go away for a little while.  And

Last night I got to swim with two very awesome ladies.  And while we may not have had a long work out, or a hard work out, it was a great work out.  Just what I needed.  Of course, master swim started while we were doing our slow and steady laps.  Nothing makes you feel more inferior than being the slowest person in the pool!  However, one of the women in the lane next to me gave me some advice about my kick.  Apparently I'm bending my knees to kick, and not kicking from the hip?  How has nobody told me this before?  So, now I have something to work on.  Maybe it will make me so fast that it won't matter that my run is hindered a little?  After swim we sat in the sauna and chatted.  That was nice too.  Have I mentioned before how blessed I am to have met so many wonderful people through the sport of triathlon?  As we were leaving, sweet, wonderful, wise beyond her years, Erin handed me a gift, and asked me not to open it until I got home.   When I got home I opened the card,

Yesterday was not a good day.  But today was a better day.  Not for any one reason in particular.  But a few things made it better. I wore a skirt today.  It made me feel pretty.  Feeling pretty lifts my spirit.  Even if heels do make my knee hurt a little more.  Mom always said you have to suffer to be beautiful.  And the skirt is big on me.  So even though I'm not running, and it's pumpkin season, I haven't put on too much weight.  Finally hit 50 followers on Twitter.  Not sure why that is important, but it made me feel special.  Now if only I could hit 50 followers on my blog.  And get more comments.  Comments make me smile.  I got two of those today too (well, last night but I didn't know about them until this morning) Recently I decided to find a new church home.  Two different people from my old church contacted me today to let me know I'm missed.  It's nice to know that they have realized I'm not coming anymore.  I miss them too, but the church was

Recently my boys and I spent a Sunday afternoon at my parents house.  We used to do this on many a Sunday before their dad moved out.  To give him alone time, so he could watch football in peace.  Now, I prefer to hang out at home.  I've become quite anti social, and withdrawn.  But, I missed my parents, and decided to just stop over on this particular Sunday.  We then got invited for dinner, which is a huge bonus since I am still getting used to this whole cooking every night thing.  And my mom is a really good cook. While eating dinner the topic of all of the addicts, and not so sane people on both sides of my family came up.  And particularly the topic of my mother's twin brother, who died when I was only five, was being discussed.  My mom was very protective of her brother.  Although they were the same age, she was more like the big sister than twin sister to my Uncle.  He was an alcoholic.  And at one point spent some time in rehab.  Apparently when he went into rehab, h

I'm in a funk.  Not sure if it's separation inflicted, holiday inflicted, or knee injury inflicted.  But, whatever it is I need to snap out of it. Yesterday my BFF brought her babies  (1 year old daughter, 2.5 year old son) over for me to watch, while she and her husband went to a football game.  And she paid me for this.  Why, I do not know.  I should have paid her.  Sweet little Jack and Maddie where just what I needed to cheer me up for the day.  Snuggling with a sweet baby girl while she falls asleep for her nap.  Baby kisses and giggles.  Toddler speak.  Watching a Maddie walk, with that cute little I'm not too sure of myself waddle.  The Big One laying on the floor with bowl of popcorn, watching Shrek with Jack.  Bubba insisting he needed to lay down in the pack-n-play.  It was the best day I've had in ages.  Those two children are the second 2 cutest kids in the world (mine of course are the first). So, I've decided.  I need another baby.  I know it's

I've decided that the triathlon gods are against me.  The list of reasons why I can't do triathlons is growing.  Fast.  Single mom, with two very active boys, that require lots of my time.  They both play sports year round,  That means I must drive them to practices, and watch their games.  One income, that is barely covering the expenses.  That means no extra money for race entry fees, and necessary equiptment. Injuries.  First my neck, now my knee.  I can not afford to be out of commission for work or mommy duties.  I also can't afford doctor co-pays. It sucks.  I found an activity that I love, that has given me a whole new sense of self worth, and lots of new friends, and I can't justify participating in it.  It seems the costs out way the benefits at this time.  I'm going to have to settle for volunteering at events, and cheering on my friends for now.  Unless I meet my new millionaire husband who happens to be an orthopedic doctor in the next 3 months tha

So, I know what is causing the knee pain.  ITBS.  Can I tell you what I think the BS really stands for? There is a video on the KT Tape website that shows you how to tape it just right.  I don't have any KT Tape yet, but having a child who plays sports (especially lax) we have plenty of athletic tape in the house.  So, I gave it my best shot and taped up the knee just like the video.  And I stretched.  I never stretch.  Then I went out into the chilly morning, to do my virtual Turkey Trot, instead of the 10k I would rather be doing. I have a decent 5k course I run almost daily, when I can.  I headed out yesterday morning with the intention of doing my regular run.  Not pushing hard, but I gave my damn knee 2 weeks off for goodness sake.  It should be all better, right? 3.1 miles should be cake.  I was going slower than usual pace.  Didn't want to push it.  There was no pain at first.  I was feeling confident that maybe, just maybe, this little obstacle in my running career w

I have been posting at least one thing each day on Facebook and Twitter that I am thankful for the entire month.  It hasn't been easy some days, because quite frankly, I'm not always feeling especially thankful for the way my life has turned out.  But today, I am going to be just that.  Especially Thankful. I am thankful that I am in a warm home, with both of my boys here almost every night.  He could have made me leave.  But, he's paying the mortgage, and the bulk of the other bills, and staying at his parents house instead.  I am thankful that my "little" brother survived Iraq.  He came home not quite the same person he left, but he is physically ok.  I am thankful to have two very healthy, smart, funny, loving boys.  They are the light of my life, and my reason for being.  I can't, and won't, imagine life without them.  I am thankful for my job.  It may not be what I thought I would be doing when I "grew up", but it is a pretty good jo

Since I'm most likely not going to be doing the 10k Thanksgiving morning as I had originally planned, I will be doing this, even if I have to walk it! http://www.dailymile.com/turkey_trot It only seems rights, since I just posted about wanting to help St. Jude.  I think all 14 of you need to do it too!

I do not know this girl.  I have no connection to her.  But, I feel the need to post this.  Please check out this link and see if you can help bring this young woman home. I am hoping an praying that this pretty young lady comes home safe and alive soon.

So, I was tagged with one of these things on Facebook.  Everyone there already knows me and is pretty sick of these things anyway.  I figured, what the heck, I'll do it on my blog nobody reads! 1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:30, on a Sunday.  Everyone else is still asleep! 2. How do you like your steak? I don't eat red meat.  So, I prefer my steak still walking around and mooing happily. 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harry Potter - LAST NIGHT!  Before that was Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, with Bubba of course. 4. What are your favorite TV shows?  Two and a Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, Sh*t My Dad Says, The Big Bang Theory, Parenthood 5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Boston, or, more specifically, a suburb of Boston. 6. What did you have for breakfast?  Nothing yet.  Just coffee 7. What is your favorite cuisine? Greek 8. What foods do you dislike? Hotdogs, peas, green beans, spaghetti

Bubba and I just got back from the St. Jude Give Thanks Walk.  Thanks to friends and family I raised $90.  I would have loved to raise $900.  But if everybody gives a little, it will add up to a lot.  I am so thankful that I have been blessed with two rather healthy little boys.  I cannot imagine watching my child suffer, waiting for them to die, and not having any power to do anything to make it stop.  To make them stop hurting.  To make all the bad cancer cells go away, and stop destroying a precious little life.   The guest of honor who spoke was a mother whose son lost the fight to cancer.  When she was talking, my sweet child got tears in his eyes.  The thought of cancer saddens even a six year old, who doesn't fully grasp the concept.  St. Jude Children's Research Hospital is a wonderful facility.  A place that I hope and pray I will never need to go to.  That I pray no child I know will ever need to visit.  But, I plan on doing my best to continue to raise funds for

Not only am I not pleased with the lunch options available to my son at school, I also have an issue with their payment options. They use My Nutri Kids.  Which in theory is awesome.  You prepay with a check, cash, or online, and then can track what your kid is buying every day.  Sounds great.  Well, the first couple of weeks of school, I didn't have Bubba's account number, just The Big One's.  So, any time he wanted to buy, I would give him $2.00 in cash.  Lunch is $1.75 at his school, but he never brought home the 25 cents change.  I assumed that the extra was just being put into the account, and didn't worry about it.  Once we finally got the account info, which I had to call and request a couple of weeks into school, I looked, and there was no money for him.  Someone, somewhere, was a couple of dollar's richer at my innocent, naive, 1st graders loss.  So, I deposited money into his account via PayPal, which charges me $1.75 in convenience fee every time I put

One thing I definitely need is some inner peace.  I'm having thoughts I shouldn't more and more often.  Panic attacks on an almost daily basis.  I need to do something to fix me mentally.  The Blissology Project may be just the thing I need to do.  Running has been my stress relief, and right now my knee is preventing that.  Maybe if I have multiple outlets, I won't have such a hard time when/if I can't do one of them. Who is going to join me in this?

  One of the hardest parts of our separation is the fact that I know have many more responsibilities than before.  And being a newly single mom is taking it's toll on me mentally, emotionally, physically, and at times spiritually.  I find myself feeling like I am drowning.  With my knee now making running not possible for the time being, my only stress outlet is gone.  And yesterday, at work, I lost it again.  Thinking about all there is to do, at work and home, and how I have nobody to help me, I sat at my desk and cried.  Then, I went on Facebook, and another newly, unexpectedly single mom friend of mine had posted this, and it was just what I needed.   When you feel overwhelmed... Demands knock on my door. Burdens beckon me to answer. The to-do list stretches for miles. I whisper, "I feel overwhelmed." And in the stillness it seems I hear... "Child, open your heart to Me instead of the demands of the day. Lay those burdens at My feet, not on your shoul

My knee and I got into an argument about whether or not I should do my run last night.  I said yes, and tried like heck to push through the pain.  It said, no way, and 15 minutes into what I had planned to be a 45 minute run,  made it impossible to finish my run, and nearly impossible to walk home. Now I need to figure out why =[  Unfortunately there are a few variables: I bought new sneakers and just started running in them.  I have been wearing Asics since getting fit at Fleet Feet.  It was about time for me to get new sneaks, so I picked up a pair of Saucony's.  Do Saucony's and I belong together?  Should I switch back to my Asics until I can get to Fleet Feet again?   I have started a running program through the Y, and have been doing it for a little over 2 weeks.   When I went to the speed work out Wednesday night, I was sore, and it was VERY cold.  This was my first speed work out in well over a year.  By the end, I was more than sore.  I was in pain.  Is the cold to

Yesterday was a bad day.  For no particular reason or every possible reason.  But I was in a very, very, dark, not good place, emotionally.  Thanks to a R.A.O.K. a coworker I came out of it a little.  This time of year is always bad for me.  So, I'm sure this year, it will be even harder to make it through until January 1st. In order to make myself smile, I'm going to share with you some things that make me happy: Funky Socks.   I love fun, bright, crazy socks.  Even when I'm all dressed up at work, in my serious, business attire, I can wear something not so business like on my feet, and nobody knows.   Freshly Bathed Babies.   I can sit and smell a baby's head for hours.  Kissing their squishy cheeks.  Babies rock! Beverly Hills 90210 reruns.   Did you know, on Saturday and Sunday you can watch  Brandon, Brenda, Dylan and the gang all day long on Soap Net?  I get sucked in quite often.   Sleeping Children.   Even after a day when they have pushed every button po

I really want to get faster.  Or maybe I just think that I do?  I was discussing this with my friend, and former "trainer" the other night after a group run.  He told me there is no reason for me not to be running faster.  Since he knows what I am capable of, I try to believe him.  We ran track together in high school, so he knows that deep down inside of me, there is speed.  He helped me train for my first triathlon.  He watched how much I grew in one season.   He says the only reason I'm not reaching my potential is because I don't want it bad enough.  That I'm not hungry enough.  That I'm not willing to suffer.  I tried arguing with him.  I do really want it.  I want to place in my age group.  I want to pass people in the wave before me, not get passed by people in the wave after me.  But, today, looking at what I've accomplished this year, I think he might be right.  I don't want it bad enough.  I have too many excuses.  Too many reasons why I

In case you were wondering, an iPod that has been through the washer and dryer won't work anymore. I was hopeful when I plugged it in to sync it and the screen lit up.  But all I get is an error on the screen.  The Big One left it in his pocket.  He thinks he lost it.  I'm going to keep letting him think that.  I'm also going to check pockets a little better before doing wash.   This is his second iPod that has been "lost".  The first one was actually stolen on a school field trip.  And he had purchased that one with his own money.  This one was my old one that I didn't need anymore because I got the iPhone.  He hesitantly asked for an iPod touch for Christmas this year.  I will be doing everything in my power to get it for him.  Not that he truly deserves it, but I did ruin this one.  So, now you know.  No matter how dirty they get, don't put your iPod in the washing machine.

For quite some time now, Bubba has been begging to eat at Wegmans.  So, last night I indulged him.  While we were eating our dinner, I let the Big One know that I would be going for my group run early in the morning, so he would be watching Bubba.  Big One: It's gonna be cold, you should wear pants. Me: I plan on it.  Probably lined ones. Big One: You mean your Adidas ones? Me: No, those aren't lined. Big One:  Yes they are, all Adidas pants have lines. Me: laughing too hard to respond Big One: What?  They all have those lines down both legs. After composing myself, I explained to my 14 year old honor student, super smart son what lined pants where.  The Big One can be funny too!  Who knew?

My Mother-In-Law got Bubba a gift card to a book store for his birthday.  They used to go to the library together every Wednesday and she missed that special time with him.  So, as part of the gift, she wanted to bring him to pick out his books.  They spent the day together last Sunday.  The other night he was telling me about their trip to the store.  In my car,  his booster is behind the driver's seat.  In Grandma's car, the booster is on the passenger's side. Bubba "Mom, when Grandma was driving to the store, she was supposed to be going 65, but she was going almost 80!" Me "I'm sure she wasn't going that fast." Bubba "Well, it was past the 60, and after 60 comes 80.  And after 80 comes 100!  Grandma was almost going 100!  I thought old people drove slow"

Is there anything as powerful as Mommy Guilt? Has anything ever happened with your kids that you just can't let go of that shoulda, coulda, woulda? My oldest is 14. He has been in Halloween Costume parades since he was barely more than a month old. Starting in day care. I have made it to every single one. Except the year he was 9 and in 4th grade. It was easy when he was a baby. I worked at his day care. Then when he was three, and I had gotten a job somewhere else, I made it a point to take the time off from work to go. When he started kindergarten, I started back to college, so it was easy to make it. When he was in 4th grade, I started my current job. In fact, my first day of work was on Halloween. There was no way I would make it to the costume parade. He was a little saddened by that fact, as was I. But this was going to be our new reality. Mommy was working again full time now and couldn't make it to all the school functions anymore. After school, the Big O

Ok, I have a question I've been dying to ask my fellow female triathletes. And since all 9 of my blog followers are women (and if I ever reach 10 I'm gonna throw myself a party), I guess this is the best place to ask the question. So, if you are a male who happened to accidentally start reading one of my posts for the first time ever, I apologize. You can stop reading now. Unless you have a wife, girlfriend, sister, mother, or daughter who is a triathlete and can help you answer my question. Here it goes. What the heck do you do if you have your period on race day? I mean, I guess if it's a sprint, or intermediate distance it wouldn't be that big a deal. But a half or a full? Seriously. I wouldn't be able to make it that long with out doing something about it. So what do you do? I've only done three tri's so far, and haven't had the issue. However, it's something I check the calender for as the race day approaches. Wondering how I would

Yesterday I was in a bad mood after work, and needed to destress on my way home. I didn't want to bring my grumpiness home to the boys. So, I decided it was time to play my pre-race playlist. On the way to every race, tri or running, I listen to the same playlist. Part of it is now "supersition" or routine, but part of it is because each of the songs plays a part in calming me down, and then pumping me back up again. First on my playlist is Coplands Fanfare For the Common Man and Appalachian Spring. These songs are from my previous life when I was in colorguard. Particularly the Shaker Melody. I marched to this song in marching band, and can visualize the entire show in my head. Mentally performing the moves helps to bring me to a very good place. I tend to see the music, not just hear it. Flags spinning, girls dancing. And there was one performace when I smacked a judge with my flag during the final impact. I can almost feel it every time the song gets to that

One month ago today, he moved out. And we are surviving. Bubba started the Bannan Splits Club at school yesterday, The Big One is meeting with his guidance counselor once a week, and I'm holding myself together somehow. I've cooked dinner more in the last month than the last 14 years. And I'm proud to say, we haven't had pizza once! I did resort to McDonald's one night for the boys, but only because I had to mow the lawn, and had a limited window of daylight. But other than that, we've been eating very nutritious dinners. The boys haven't complained about my cooking either. We've also been doing a big breakfast on Sunday mornings. But, I am running out of quick, not expensive, ideas. The fact that the oven is on the fritz limits me a lot. So, send me your crock-pot, microwave, toaster oven, stove top, or grilled recipes! There have been a total of four nights that I've been completely kidless in the last month. Bubba has been away more ni

I finally got to get back in the water tonight! First time swimming since late August when I did an open water swim with Coach Kelly. And I haven't been in a pool since mid-July when I put my membership at the Y on hold. I signed up for the highest level tri swim clinic they offer. I'm not an awesome swimmer, but I can hold my own in the pool. And I took the level three all last season, so I was fairly certain, even with a few months off, that I was going to do ok. So, I knew in advance my young tri friend Erin is in the class, and we both got to the locker room at the same time. There were no other female's in the locker room. She commented that she hoped we aren't the only two people in the class. And neither one of us had any clue who the teacher was. We walked out to the pool, and there were 4 or 5 men waiting for the class to start. Not young kids, but men, who all looked older than me (and I'm old) .Uh Oh! From previous classes, I know the guy

I have the most amazing group of friends. Both my "real" or irl (in real life) friends and my on-line friends have been so supportive these last few months. Every time I'm down in the dumps, and ready to throw in the towel, somebody is there to pick me back up, dust me off, and point me in the right direction. So many of them have believed in me when I no longer believed in myself. And this is true in both my every day life, and my training. There are many days I only get out of bed because there are two boys who count on me. And I cry in the shower because it's the only place I know they won't see me. By the time I get to work on those days, I'm ready to turn around, drive home, crawl into bed, and pull the covers over my head because I just don't think I can do it. Then, I log on to Twitter, or Facebook, or BabyCenter, and somebody, somewhere makes me feel loved. They make me realize that I'm going to be ok, I'm going to survive. Things

When I lay awake at night, I come up with wonderful posts to share with my hoards of readers. Well written, sometimes funny, sometimes serious. The ideas I have at 2 a.m. are plentiful. Then, I get up at 5:30 (or days like today, when neither I nor the Big One set our alarm, 6:15) and the ideas are either not so good, or gone. I think about getting up, and typing them out, but know that I need to just go back to sleep. And I always promise myself I will remember them in the morning. Well, last night, while I was awake from before 2 until after 4, watching quality late night and early morning television programing, I had a great post written in my head. And now, it's gone. But I assure you, it was phenomenal.

Someday, I will place in my age group in a triathlon... Someday, I will run a half marathon... Someday, I will complete a 70.3... Someday, I will run in the Boston Marathon... Someday, I will compete in Lake Placid Ironman... Lofty goals, for a woman who hasn't even been running 2 full years. But I feel, deep down, these will all happen. Like my current 5k time, they may not happen as quickly as I hope, but I'll stick to my motto: I may not be first, I may not be fast, but I will ALWAYS finish....someday.

In December of 2003 we bought our first house. I was going to school full time to become a speech pathologist and nannying for a little 2 year old girl part time, the Big One was in 2nd grade. Life was good. When my mother in law went on vacation the end of January, right after the Spring semester had started, her yellow lab stayed with us. By the time she came home, The Big One and I had convinced the husband that maybe we should get a dog. I started making plans for what kind of puppy I was going to get. The beginning of February I was exhausted. Having a hard time making it through my night classes. I figured being a mom, nanny, and full time student was taking it's toll on me. Then it dawned on me, I might be late. So, I stopped on my way home and bought a two pack of tests. I took one. Instant positive. I took the second, just to be sure, yup, still positive. The husband was quite happy. I was in shock. The next morning I called my mid-wife's office to sc