Watch Out It’s Messy In Here

I've really been thinking that I was done with triathlon.  That the two seasons I had under my belt would be the only two.  Blame it on my circumstances, blame it on the meds, blame it on me being a Gemini.  Not sure what it was, but I haven't been feeling that desire that I had the last two years.  I decided to still do Green Lakes mostly so I wouldn't disappoint a few select people who's opinions truly matter to me.  My plan was really just to show up and do it.  And then train my butt off for Iron Girl because I have a whole slew of people I owe big time for that race.  It all started coming back to me last Wednesday night.  I met up with my buds at Oneida Shores for the CNY Tri training series.  Since I had only been in the water once in the past two months, I really needed an open water swim, and I was a little nervous about transitions this season now that I've added a new pair of shoes to the mix.  I did that swim with my frien...

I have never taken an ice bath I don't own any real tri clothing I don't even own bike shorts I still use regular pedals with my running sneakers I let the snooze button win more often than not I've never puked while training I've never blown a snot rocket I've never "bonked" I don't feel like a real triathlete yet.  I feel like an intruder, an invader among actual triathletes.  Like I don't quite belong in this world yet.  I want to be here, but I haven't quite earned my place yet.  I really want to sign up for Rev3 Quassy, and just go for it.  I don't really have the money, and haven't been training for an Olympic distance triathlon to be the first tri of the season.  But, if I were a real triathlete, wouldn't I figure out a way to make it happen?  To be at the starting line, and to cross the finish line? I'm trying to find my "why". Why do I want to continue competing in this world I don't belong?...