Watch Out It’s Messy In Here

Yesterday Sucked.  Plain and simple.  It was an emotionally draining day, that left me feeling empty.  It was the anniversary of the suicide of my sister-in-law's sister.  I went to the memorial mass during my lunch break, to show her my support.  Sitting in the pew behind them, watching her mother shake, crying, still devastated by the heartache of losing her daughter three years ago.  Seeing her father, and the broken man he has become.  And my SIL, who still asks why.  Who blames herself.  Who wishes she could go be with her sister, because she is so lost with out her.  The reason this was so difficult for me this year was because I almost caused this pain to my parents and my sister.  I almost broke the hearts of two little boys.  I was so close to committing the most selfish act humanly possible.  Sitting there, I was over come with guilt, knowing that those three broken souls in front of me could have been my mom, an...

I have never taken an ice bath I don't own any real tri clothing I don't even own bike shorts I still use regular pedals with my running sneakers I let the snooze button win more often than not I've never puked while training I've never blown a snot rocket I've never "bonked" I don't feel like a real triathlete yet.  I feel like an intruder, an invader among actual triathletes.  Like I don't quite belong in this world yet.  I want to be here, but I haven't quite earned my place yet.  I really want to sign up for Rev3 Quassy, and just go for it.  I don't really have the money, and haven't been training for an Olympic distance triathlon to be the first tri of the season.  But, if I were a real triathlete, wouldn't I figure out a way to make it happen?  To be at the starting line, and to cross the finish line? I'm trying to find my "why". Why do I want to continue competing in this world I don't belong?...

I sent a letter to Santa via my blog many months ago, and thankfully he reads my blog and hooked me up with a couple of things from my list. So I'm hoping the Easter Bunny reads my blog and hooks me up too! Dear Easter Bunny, I do not expect all of the things on my list. In fact, I am pretty sure a bunny couldn't deliver most of them. But just in case you were wondering what to put in my basket this year, here is my wish list. Magic Bullet Aero bar bike shoes and clips Tri shorts Tri tops Running shoes Garmin Bike rack Treadmill Race entry fees for 2011 Skinnyman & Syracuse 70.3 Thanks Easter Bunny Much Love, Wanna Be Iron Mommy EDIT: P.S. I fell in love with the Specialized Ruby in white/turquoise at the Bike Loft yesterday. If you would like to either put the 20% down for the layaway, or just buy her for me, that would be awesome as well.

I feel like I'm living the game Angry Birds.  There has been a Robin attacking my kitchen window since Tuesday.  The Big One shot at it with an air soft gun on Day 1.  He missed, scared Robin away for a little bit, but he came back shortly after.  I then suggested he let the cat out (same cat who is scared of hamsters in plastic balls, but the bird doesn't need to know that).  Mr Angry Bird just sat on the fence, glaring at the cat until he came back in, and went back at it.  Day 2 he started up at 6 am.  I tried hanging fake hawk shadows in the window.  He laughed at my efforts, and was still going strong when I went to bed at 9.  Day 3 he decided that one window wasn't enough, and went after the bathroom window as well.  I recorded him, standing right in the kitchen window, and he didn't care that I was standing right there.  Day 4 The Big One shot at him with his BB gun, and again missed (as I knew he would) and Bubba and I went ...

EDIT:  Many people have been telling me they can't comment.  Which makes me feel better since so many posts are going comment-less.  I've been feeling unloved.  I messed around a little.  Hoping it helps.  Let me know if it didn't by shooting me an email!   I hate change.  New things, experiences, people make me nervous.  I would consider myself OCD if I wasn't such a slob.  I want things to just stay the same forever!  When we sold my grandparents house, my sister and I got most of my grandmother's kitchen stuff.  Whenever I make French Toast (one of my specialties) I make it in my grandma's griddle.  I have had it for almost 15 years.  Lord only knows how long she had it.  It's ancient.  My parents gave us a new, nicer, bigger, griddle.  I never use it.  It would probably work better.  Most likely more energy efficient.  But, I always grab grandma's. Old habits die hard.  It ta...

I have been thin basically my entire life, with the exception of my pregnancies and the year after having Bubba.  It's mostly genetics.  I honestly don't think I will/could ever be "fat".  Something that has always bugged me about being a "skinny" person are the comments.  Others feel it's fine to comment on my size. Why is it okay for someone to say to me: You're too skinny. Yet, I could never say back to them: You're too fat. Why is it okay for someone to say to me: You're so skinny, I can count your ribs. Yet, I could never say back to them: You're so fat, I can count your rolls. Why is it okay for someone to say to me: You're a twig.  Yet, I could never say back to them: You're a whale. Why is it okay for someone to say to me: You're deathly thin.  Yet, I could never say back to them: You're morbidly obese. Why is it okay for someone to say to me: You should really eat more.  Yet, I could never say back ...

A friend of mine who is unable to celebrate St. Patty's this year asked me to have a green beer for them.  Since I absolutely, positively, can not stand beer, and the thought of drinking a green beer makes me want to vomit, I opted to celebrate by treating myself and my boys to a Shamrock Shake after The Big One's indoor soccer practice.  (and I may or may not have gotten myself a large fry with my shake...) So to those who suggested it, thanks for the idea! Good nutrition starts over tomorrow.