Is there anything as powerful as Mommy Guilt? Has anything ever happened with your kids that you just can't let go of that shoulda, coulda, woulda?
My oldest is 14. He has been in Halloween Costume parades since he was barely more than a month old. Starting in day care. I have made it to every single one. Except the year he was 9 and in 4th grade. It was easy when he was a baby. I worked at his day care. Then when he was three, and I had gotten a job somewhere else, I made it a point to take the time off from work to go. When he started kindergarten, I started back to college, so it was easy to make it.
When he was in 4th grade, I started my current job. In fact, my first day of work was on Halloween. There was no way I would make it to the costume parade. He was a little saddened by that fact, as was I. But this was going to be our new reality. Mommy was working again full time now and couldn't make it to all the school functions anymore. After school, the Big One was now going to a sitters house. And daddy was the one who would be picking him up. I took Bubba to and picked him up from his day care center. When I got out of work, and got home, it was a mad dash to eat dinner and get the boys ready for trick-or-treating. That was when we discovered, The Big One had left an essential part of his costume at school. OH. NO!
The boy was now in tears. Now what? It was time to go out with his friends to fill a pillow case full of crap! We had no costume. The school was locked. Fortunately I'm a saver (borderline horder). And we had lots of old costumes in the basement. So we pieced something together. But it wasn't what he wanted to be. It wasn't what he had planned.
Ever since then, I make sure to take at least part of the day off from work on Halloween, or the day school celebrates and has the party and parade. Granted, The Big One only had one more parade the next year in 5th grade. Once you go to middle school and start switching classes, there is no more parade. But Bubba started preschool, so his parades were there to fill in where The Big Ones left off.
So, today, I took a half day of work, unpaid since I am out of vacation time for the year. And here I sit at home, waiting for 2 o'clock when I get to go stand outside of his elementary school in the wind and cold to watch my Bubba be one of 50 other kids dressed as Mario. Because the guilt of that fateful, costume-less Halloween, when I had the nerve to start a job and not be there for my boy, will weigh heavily on me for the rest of my life.
My oldest is 14. He has been in Halloween Costume parades since he was barely more than a month old. Starting in day care. I have made it to every single one. Except the year he was 9 and in 4th grade. It was easy when he was a baby. I worked at his day care. Then when he was three, and I had gotten a job somewhere else, I made it a point to take the time off from work to go. When he started kindergarten, I started back to college, so it was easy to make it.
When he was in 4th grade, I started my current job. In fact, my first day of work was on Halloween. There was no way I would make it to the costume parade. He was a little saddened by that fact, as was I. But this was going to be our new reality. Mommy was working again full time now and couldn't make it to all the school functions anymore. After school, the Big One was now going to a sitters house. And daddy was the one who would be picking him up. I took Bubba to and picked him up from his day care center. When I got out of work, and got home, it was a mad dash to eat dinner and get the boys ready for trick-or-treating. That was when we discovered, The Big One had left an essential part of his costume at school. OH. NO!
The boy was now in tears. Now what? It was time to go out with his friends to fill a pillow case full of crap! We had no costume. The school was locked. Fortunately I'm a saver (borderline horder). And we had lots of old costumes in the basement. So we pieced something together. But it wasn't what he wanted to be. It wasn't what he had planned.
Ever since then, I make sure to take at least part of the day off from work on Halloween, or the day school celebrates and has the party and parade. Granted, The Big One only had one more parade the next year in 5th grade. Once you go to middle school and start switching classes, there is no more parade. But Bubba started preschool, so his parades were there to fill in where The Big Ones left off.
So, today, I took a half day of work, unpaid since I am out of vacation time for the year. And here I sit at home, waiting for 2 o'clock when I get to go stand outside of his elementary school in the wind and cold to watch my Bubba be one of 50 other kids dressed as Mario. Because the guilt of that fateful, costume-less Halloween, when I had the nerve to start a job and not be there for my boy, will weigh heavily on me for the rest of my life.
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