Watch Out It’s Messy In Here

Yesterday was not a good day.  But today was a better day.  Not for any one reason in particular.  But a few things made it better. I wore a skirt today.  It made me feel pretty.  Feeling pretty lifts my spirit.  Even if heels do make my knee hurt a little more.  Mom always said you have to suffer to be beautiful.  And the skirt is big on me.  So even though I'm not running, and it's pumpkin season, I haven't put on too much weight.  Finally hit 50 followers on Twitter.  Not sure why that is important, but it made me feel special.  Now if only I could hit 50 followers on my blog.  And get more comments.  Comments make me smile.  I got two of those today too (well, last night but I didn't know about them until this morning) Recently I decided to find a new church home.  Two different people from my old church contacted me today to let me know I'm missed.  It's nice to know that they have realized I'm ...

Recently my boys and I spent a Sunday afternoon at my parents house.  We used to do this on many a Sunday before their dad moved out.  To give him alone time, so he could watch football in peace.  Now, I prefer to hang out at home.  I've become quite anti social, and withdrawn.  But, I missed my parents, and decided to just stop over on this particular Sunday.  We then got invited for dinner, which is a huge bonus since I am still getting used to this whole cooking every night thing.  And my mom is a really good cook. While eating dinner the topic of all of the addicts, and not so sane people on both sides of my family came up.  And particularly the topic of my mother's twin brother, who died when I was only five, was being discussed.  My mom was very protective of her brother.  Although they were the same age, she was more like the big sister than twin sister to my Uncle.  He was an alcoholic.  And at one point spent some ti...

I'm in a funk.  Not sure if it's separation inflicted, holiday inflicted, or knee injury inflicted.  But, whatever it is I need to snap out of it. Yesterday my BFF brought her babies  (1 year old daughter, 2.5 year old son) over for me to watch, while she and her husband went to a football game.  And she paid me for this.  Why, I do not know.  I should have paid her.  Sweet little Jack and Maddie where just what I needed to cheer me up for the day.  Snuggling with a sweet baby girl while she falls asleep for her nap.  Baby kisses and giggles.  Toddler speak.  Watching a Maddie walk, with that cute little I'm not too sure of myself waddle.  The Big One laying on the floor with bowl of popcorn, watching Shrek with Jack.  Bubba insisting he needed to lay down in the pack-n-play.  It was the best day I've had in ages.  Those two children are the second 2 cutest kids in the world (mine of course are the first). So,...

I've decided that the triathlon gods are against me.  The list of reasons why I can't do triathlons is growing.  Fast.  Single mom, with two very active boys, that require lots of my time.  They both play sports year round,  That means I must drive them to practices, and watch their games.  One income, that is barely covering the expenses.  That means no extra money for race entry fees, and necessary equiptment. Injuries.  First my neck, now my knee.  I can not afford to be out of commission for work or mommy duties.  I also can't afford doctor co-pays. It sucks.  I found an activity that I love, that has given me a whole new sense of self worth, and lots of new friends, and I can't justify participating in it.  It seems the costs out way the benefits at this time.  I'm going to have to settle for volunteering at events, and cheering on my friends for now.  Unless I meet my new millionaire husband who happens to...

So, I know what is causing the knee pain.  ITBS.  Can I tell you what I think the BS really stands for? There is a video on the KT Tape website that shows you how to tape it just right.  I don't have any KT Tape yet, but having a child who plays sports (especially lax) we have plenty of athletic tape in the house.  So, I gave it my best shot and taped up the knee just like the video.  And I stretched.  I never stretch.  Then I went out into the chilly morning, to do my virtual Turkey Trot, instead of the 10k I would rather be doing. I have a decent 5k course I run almost daily, when I can.  I headed out yesterday morning with the intention of doing my regular run.  Not pushing hard, but I gave my damn knee 2 weeks off for goodness sake.  It should be all better, right? 3.1 miles should be cake.  I was going slower than usual pace.  Didn't want to push it.  There was no pain at first.  I was feeling confident that m...

I have been posting at least one thing each day on Facebook and Twitter that I am thankful for the entire month.  It hasn't been easy some days, because quite frankly, I'm not always feeling especially thankful for the way my life has turned out.  But today, I am going to be just that.  Especially Thankful. I am thankful that I am in a warm home, with both of my boys here almost every night.  He could have made me leave.  But, he's paying the mortgage, and the bulk of the other bills, and staying at his parents house instead.  I am thankful that my "little" brother survived Iraq.  He came home not quite the same person he left, but he is physically ok.  I am thankful to have two very healthy, smart, funny, loving boys.  They are the light of my life, and my reason for being.  I can't, and won't, imagine life without them.  I am thankful for my job.  It may not be what I thought I would be doing when I "grew up", but it ...

Since I'm most likely not going to be doing the 10k Thanksgiving morning as I had originally planned, I will be doing this, even if I have to walk it! http://www.dailymile.com/turkey_trot It only seems rights, since I just posted about wanting to help St. Jude.  I think all 14 of you need to do it too!

I do not know this girl.  I have no connection to her.  But, I feel the need to post this.  Please check out this link and see if you can help bring this young woman home. I am hoping an praying that this pretty young lady comes home safe and alive soon.

So, I was tagged with one of these things on Facebook.  Everyone there already knows me and is pretty sick of these things anyway.  I figured, what the heck, I'll do it on my blog nobody reads! 1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:30, on a Sunday.  Everyone else is still asleep! 2. How do you like your steak? I don't eat red meat.  So, I prefer my steak still walking around and mooing happily. 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harry Potter - LAST NIGHT!  Before that was Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, with Bubba of course. 4. What are your favorite TV shows?  Two and a Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, Sh*t My Dad Says, The Big Bang Theory, Parenthood 5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Boston, or, more specifically, a suburb of Boston. 6. What did you have for breakfast?  Nothing yet.  Just coffee 7. What is your favorite cuisine? Greek 8. What foods do you dislike? Ho...

Bubba and I just got back from the St. Jude Give Thanks Walk.  Thanks to friends and family I raised $90.  I would have loved to raise $900.  But if everybody gives a little, it will add up to a lot.  I am so thankful that I have been blessed with two rather healthy little boys.  I cannot imagine watching my child suffer, waiting for them to die, and not having any power to do anything to make it stop.  To make them stop hurting.  To make all the bad cancer cells go away, and stop destroying a precious little life.   The guest of honor who spoke was a mother whose son lost the fight to cancer.  When she was talking, my sweet child got tears in his eyes.  The thought of cancer saddens even a six year old, who doesn't fully grasp the concept.  St. Jude Children's Research Hospital is a wonderful facility.  A place that I hope and pray I will never need to go to.  That I pray no child I know will ever need to visit....

Not only am I not pleased with the lunch options available to my son at school, I also have an issue with their payment options. They use My Nutri Kids.  Which in theory is awesome.  You prepay with a check, cash, or online, and then can track what your kid is buying every day.  Sounds great.  Well, the first couple of weeks of school, I didn't have Bubba's account number, just The Big One's.  So, any time he wanted to buy, I would give him $2.00 in cash.  Lunch is $1.75 at his school, but he never brought home the 25 cents change.  I assumed that the extra was just being put into the account, and didn't worry about it.  Once we finally got the account info, which I had to call and request a couple of weeks into school, I looked, and there was no money for him.  Someone, somewhere, was a couple of dollar's richer at my innocent, naive, 1st graders loss.  So, I deposited money into his account via PayPal, which charges me $1.75 in conv...

One thing I definitely need is some inner peace.  I'm having thoughts I shouldn't more and more often.  Panic attacks on an almost daily basis.  I need to do something to fix me mentally.  The Blissology Project may be just the thing I need to do.  Running has been my stress relief, and right now my knee is preventing that.  Maybe if I have multiple outlets, I won't have such a hard time when/if I can't do one of them. Who is going to join me in this?

  One of the hardest parts of our separation is the fact that I know have many more responsibilities than before.  And being a newly single mom is taking it's toll on me mentally, emotionally, physically, and at times spiritually.  I find myself feeling like I am drowning.  With my knee now making running not possible for the time being, my only stress outlet is gone.  And yesterday, at work, I lost it again.  Thinking about all there is to do, at work and home, and how I have nobody to help me, I sat at my desk and cried.  Then, I went on Facebook, and another newly, unexpectedly single mom friend of mine had posted this, and it was just what I needed.   When you feel overwhelmed... Demands knock on my door. Burdens beckon me to answer. The to-do list stretches for miles. I whisper, "I feel overwhelmed." And in the stillness it seems I hear... "Child, open your heart to Me instead of the demands of the day. Lay those burdens at My fee...

My knee and I got into an argument about whether or not I should do my run last night.  I said yes, and tried like heck to push through the pain.  It said, no way, and 15 minutes into what I had planned to be a 45 minute run,  made it impossible to finish my run, and nearly impossible to walk home. Now I need to figure out why =[  Unfortunately there are a few variables: I bought new sneakers and just started running in them.  I have been wearing Asics since getting fit at Fleet Feet.  It was about time for me to get new sneaks, so I picked up a pair of Saucony's.  Do Saucony's and I belong together?  Should I switch back to my Asics until I can get to Fleet Feet again?   I have started a running program through the Y, and have been doing it for a little over 2 weeks.   When I went to the speed work out Wednesday night, I was sore, and it was VERY cold.  This was my first speed work out in well over a year.  By th...

Yesterday was a bad day.  For no particular reason or every possible reason.  But I was in a very, very, dark, not good place, emotionally.  Thanks to a R.A.O.K. a coworker I came out of it a little.  This time of year is always bad for me.  So, I'm sure this year, it will be even harder to make it through until January 1st. In order to make myself smile, I'm going to share with you some things that make me happy: Funky Socks.   I love fun, bright, crazy socks.  Even when I'm all dressed up at work, in my serious, business attire, I can wear something not so business like on my feet, and nobody knows.   Freshly Bathed Babies.   I can sit and smell a baby's head for hours.  Kissing their squishy cheeks.  Babies rock! Beverly Hills 90210 reruns.   Did you know, on Saturday and Sunday you can watch  Brandon, Brenda, Dylan and the gang all day long on Soap Net?  I get sucked in quite often.   Sleepin...

I really want to get faster.  Or maybe I just think that I do?  I was discussing this with my friend, and former "trainer" the other night after a group run.  He told me there is no reason for me not to be running faster.  Since he knows what I am capable of, I try to believe him.  We ran track together in high school, so he knows that deep down inside of me, there is speed.  He helped me train for my first triathlon.  He watched how much I grew in one season.   He says the only reason I'm not reaching my potential is because I don't want it bad enough.  That I'm not hungry enough.  That I'm not willing to suffer.  I tried arguing with him.  I do really want it.  I want to place in my age group.  I want to pass people in the wave before me, not get passed by people in the wave after me.  But, today, looking at what I've accomplished this year, I think he might be right.  I don't want it bad enough. ...

In case you were wondering, an iPod that has been through the washer and dryer won't work anymore. I was hopeful when I plugged it in to sync it and the screen lit up.  But all I get is an error on the screen.  The Big One left it in his pocket.  He thinks he lost it.  I'm going to keep letting him think that.  I'm also going to check pockets a little better before doing wash.   This is his second iPod that has been "lost".  The first one was actually stolen on a school field trip.  And he had purchased that one with his own money.  This one was my old one that I didn't need anymore because I got the iPhone.  He hesitantly asked for an iPod touch for Christmas this year.  I will be doing everything in my power to get it for him.  Not that he truly deserves it, but I did ruin this one.  So, now you know.  No matter how dirty they get, don't put your iPod in the washing machine.

For quite some time now, Bubba has been begging to eat at Wegmans.  So, last night I indulged him.  While we were eating our dinner, I let the Big One know that I would be going for my group run early in the morning, so he would be watching Bubba.  Big One: It's gonna be cold, you should wear pants. Me: I plan on it.  Probably lined ones. Big One: You mean your Adidas ones? Me: No, those aren't lined. Big One:  Yes they are, all Adidas pants have lines. Me: laughing too hard to respond Big One: What?  They all have those lines down both legs. After composing myself, I explained to my 14 year old honor student, super smart son what lined pants where.  The Big One can be funny too!  Who knew?