Watch Out It’s Messy In Here

This past weekend I "ran" my first marathon.  I put ran in quotes because with my official finish time, I don't feel as if I was running very much.  5:31:45.  An hour over my goal time of 4.5 hours.  To say I am disappointed in myself is an understatement.  I am almost ashamed of my results.  I know to some that may sound like I'm looking for sympathy, or to others it may sound absurd.  But, it's the truth.  I set out to do something, and I feel as if I did not accomplish it.  As if I've failed.   So, below is my race report on the 2011 Philadelphia Marathon, in an effort to put it behind me and move on. Both of my boys wanted to go to the marathon.  And I wanted both of them there.  So, my wonderful friend Erin agreed to come along for the ride and keep an eye on them during the race.  Saturday morning we packed up Ruby the Rav4 and headed out for the trip.  We made it down there with very little difficulty, c...

I remember lots of things.  Weird random facts I learned in 7th grade, the birthday of a girl I haven't been friends with since 8th grade, the phone number of my childhood best friend, or part of a colorguard routine I did hundreds of times back in high school.  I have many wonderful memories, like holding each of my children for the first time, the way it felt the first time I crossed a finish line at a race, my first kiss, the rush I used to get when performing in front of a crowd.  The funny things kids have said over the years, like one of them saying remembories, instead of memories. I also have many memories I wish I could forget.  The phone call on Thanksgiving morning telling me of a good friends death the night before, saying goodbye to the baby I never met, saying goodbye to my little brother as he went off to fight a war, comforting my heartbroken son when he got cut from the basketball team, seeing my baby pale, and unresponsive in the back of an ambulanc...

As part of my quest for iron, I was advised to first run a marathon.  Something I've thought about doing since I became a runner almost three years ago, but never seriously considered a possibility.  But, if I want to complete a full Ironman, I obviously need to be able to run 26.2, so I decided that I needed to complete my first marathon by the end of this year.  My friend Erin then chose the Philadelphia Marathon for us to do as our first, together.  When I told Kristin that I wanted to run Philly, she informed me that it was her favorite one.  What kind of sick group of  people am I now hanging out with that they have a favorite marathon?!?  But her endorsement of the event confirmed that this was the one for me to do.  Erin since changed her mind because of her college budget and schedule not making it a possibility for this year, but KW and I agree that I should still do it.  Well, having this goal now with set date not only makes it ...

A race I wanted to do that sold out before I could register opened back up yesterday. My coach called to tell me. I immediately came up with every reason why I couldn't do it. She immediately retorted with solutions to the reasons I came up with. My reasons are valid. I can't afford it. My bike SUCKS. It's a hilly course, and I've ridden nothing but flats for 2 months. And, oh yeah, it's this Saturday! Do I want to do the race? HELL YES! Do I think I can? ummmmmm, I don't know. I think this is why I'm coming up with the excuses. I could finish it. But would I be happy with my time? Or would I beat myself up over the third triathlon failure of the year? Or, could I do what K Dub wants, and just have fun? Enjoy the hills, do it because I love triathlon, not for any other reason. I will admit, if I had $100 extra bucks in my account, I would just sign up. And the thought of doing another race excites me. I could use the adrenaline ru...

This morning I had planned on going to an open water swim with the tri club.  I was very much looking forward to it.  Two days ago when I found out my oldest had soccer practice at 8, I told him I would have to drop him off at 7:15, because I had to be at the beach, half an hour from the school, by 7:45.  He was okay with that.  Even arranged for someone to come meet him to shoot goals for extra practice.  Oh, wait, I have two sons.  What about Bubba?  I could bring him to the beach, and he could sit there and play while I swam.   But, I couldn't ask people who don't know him, and he doesn't know, to keep an eye on him while I swam a mile.  The boy is painfully shy.  He would never go for that.   I could ask my parents, but he gets up early, and they don't.  They deserve to sleep in on a Saturday.   they did say it was okay, so I was all set to go. As of last night when I went to bed, I was going to the ...

Two weeks ago I decided I was going to drive up to Lake Placid and volunteer for Iron Man, so that I could register for next year, since it is rumored to be the last year there.  I asked my friend who I knew wouldn't be able to say no if he would go up with me to volunteer and register.  He didn't hesitate to say yes!  I then got a friend to agree to front me the money, signed us up for our volunteer slots, and told him it was a go. Of  course it was so last minute there were no rooms left, so the plan was to just sleep in my car.  No biggie, since we only going to be there for one night.  And then I started to really think about my plan to register.  Was it really wise to do this?  Would it be smart to borrow that kind of money?  Would I physically and/or mentally be able to handle Iron Man Lake Placid in 2012??  If my therapist knew of my plans, would she lock me in a padded room?  After much thought, and discussion with my exper...