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Four years later

I never got to see your face, I never got to give you a name, I never found out if you were a boy or a girl. I never got to meet you, but I will never forget you. How could someone who was never even born have changed my life so much? Someone who never got to take a breath be missed and grieved for so deeply? It's been four years since I failed as a mother. My one job was to keep you safe, and help you grow for nine months, but after nine short weeks I failed you. My body couldn't do the one task that a woman is designed for.
Four years ago today, I lost my baby. And I have a huge gaping hole inside of me still. I think that is one of the reasons I started running. To try and run away from the pain. It's not working. It still hurts.

Comments

Teamarcia said…
I'm so sorry Caroline. It does hurt...a ton. Thinking of you.
July 5, 2010 at 9:50 AM
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