Watch Out It’s Messy In Here

I got a swim in tonight.  I kept putting off going to the Y.  Coming up with excuses not to go.  Almost accepted an invite to meet friends at a movie that I really want to see.  But, then I remembered that I have some accountability this season.  I need to show my good friends at Train-This that they didn't make a mistake with their generous gift.  Sitting home, watching crappy re-runs, and eating pumpkin pie are not going to make me a better triathlete.  My boys were at their fathers, so I really had no excuse not to go jump in the pool.  So, I packed my bag, and off I went.  My biggest problem with swimming on my own is that I never can keep track of what I've done.  Was that 50, or 100?   So usually, I just pick a time limit and swim until the designated time.  Another problem I have is I think too much.  That might be why I lose track.  Tonight's train of thought was, how the heck am I going to do this wit...

I never used to make New Year's Resolutions.  I found them silly.  A waste of time, since few people ever stuck to them.  Then, in 2009 I made a two part resolution.  Part one was to put myself first, to make 2009 the year of Caroline.  Part 2 was to run a 5k by years end.  The two relied on each other.  I needed to make time for myself in order to start running.  And having a goal made sure that I was actually doing something for me for a change.  My boys had always come first.  As did my husband.  I never made plans for myself without first making sure that everyone else was taken care of.  If the husband wanted to go out, I would just stay home.  If there was a birthday party to go to, I would make sure they got to the party.  New clothes, kids come first, I can wear whatever fits.  You get the point.  I needed to start worrying about my own happiness as much as everyone else's.  I needed to remember...

Here is a rambling, post full of unconnected paragraphs: I ran yesterday.  It was freezing, but my no excuses plan had to stay in place.  So I bundled up, laced up, stretched, and headed out for a run.  I had decided to do my short, 2 mile loop.  That way, if I started to hurt, I wouldn't be too far from home to walk back, regardless of where I was in the run.  But the pain never came.  My knee held out the entire time.  My face was frozen solid, but there was no pain.  This is such a relief!  I was so scared that even after over a month of rest, I would be hurting still.  I will ease back into it, but hope to be running every day very soon. My parents got me a head lamp for Christmas.  I'm looking forward to using it soon.  But for now, Bubba has claimed it as his own.  He is blinding me with it on an hourly basis.  Now I'm worried that it might temporarily blind oncoming drivers and make them hit me.  It ha...

Today I will end my "off season."  It has been over a month since I last attempted to run.  I've been swimming several times, but haven't biked at all.  Now that the craziness of the holidays is over, I will not allow myself to have any more excuses.  I don't have an indoor trainer or a treadmill, but the Y has spin bikes and treadmills.  I'm going to search for an online training program, and start following it.  Today will be a simple, short, easy run.  To make sure the pain is really gone from my knee.  Of course it's only 10 degrees out with a windchill below zero.  That will either make me run really fast, or cut my run really short.  Only time will tell! I'm also going to get back on the healthy eating band wagon.  I have a confession.  I've lost over 10 pounds in a little over a week.  I went days without eating a meal.  I had small snacks, but there were several 24 hour periods when I didn't have anything mo...

I am filled with the Christmas Spirit this year.  There are lots of reasons I shouldn't be.  But even more reasons that I should.  I didn't send out cards, and I've only purchased two gifts this year (one for each boy).  But Christmas isn't about things.  It's about people.  It's about God's gift to us.  I have two wonderful sons, who fill my life with joy, and pride, and love.  Who make me realize every day how needed I am.  They are the two greatest gifts I have ever been given. I have wonderful friends.  Friends who know when to call, or write, or stop by.  Friends who make sure I am never alone.  I am healthy.  And so are my boys.  What more could I ask. I have triathlon.  And a race schedule.  Now I need to come up with a training program, so I can set a few PRs this year.  I have hope.  Hope that my future will be happy, and successful.  Merry Christmas my friends.  May ...

My last post was asking for advice on which of two triathlons to register for first, knowing that both will sell out.  I got advice from lots of people, via twitter, comments, and emails.  Of course, the advice was about 50/50 as to which one to take a gamble on.  One comment, however, was the decision making comment.  Not at the moment I read it, but not long after. ironmomma.com said... PS; Can you send me your email? maryeggers@gmail.com...... I have something for you :-) So, curious, I sent Mary my email address.  We exchanged a few pleasant emails, and she let me know something was on it's way.  Just the fact that Mary reads my blog is overwhelming.  I admire Mary greatly, not just as a triathlete but as a person, and a mother.  I read Mary's blog every day.  The first time she commented on my blog I was "star struck".  We've never met.  She is Coach Kelly's coach.  That's how I found her in the first place, by cli...

Two races that I very much want to do open for registration next week. Syracuse Iron Girl opens on December 31st.  Green Lakes Sprint Triathlon opens January 3rd.  Both will sell out.  The question is, which will sell out first.  Or, which one am I more willing to not get in?  I only have the money to register for one with next weeks pay check. How do I decide which one to register for first? Iron Girl was my first ever triathlon.  I loved the event both years I've done it so far.  I have made some wonderful, lifelong friends because of Iron Girl.  Plus, it's only guaranteed to come to Syracuse for three years.   This could be the last year I can do Iron Girl. I've never done Green Lakes.  But I really want to.  It would start my tri season this year (unless I can do Rev3 Quassy).  It's a great course.  And I've wanted to do it for the past two years, but it sold out before I could register both years.  What shoul...

I just finished watching Kona with my 14 year old son.  He doesn't get why anyone would want to swim, bike, run.  And he really doesn't get why anyone would want to do 140.6 miles in the heat of Hawaii. While out on the bike course, passing and being passed, you are always being routed on.  On the run course, you give words of encouragement to your competitors.  At Kona, the two men who were neck in neck for first place with only 3 miles to go shook hands.  The first place finishers come back and congratulate the final finishers hours later.  What other sport has such sportsmanship?  Where else can you be cheered on by the person you are now beating? And it's not the winners of Kona who inspire me.  It's the people who barely finish.  The ones who cross with seconds to spare.  The man who just beat cancer who kisses the ground at the finish line, or the father and son who cross the finish hand in hand.  The man who got a DNF las...

One of the security questions that I could pick for a website that I need to log in to occasionally was "What was he last name of your favorite teacher?" Now, it's been quite some time since I was in school, with teachers that you actually got to know.  College professors, who you see once or twice a week aren't the kind of people you create a bond with.  But, I have no trouble coming up with the answer to that question. Mr. Brown was a health teacher at my high school, he was the athletic trainer as well.  He also taught the class "Tools for Change".  This class was an elective that you could take, and I signed up for it my senior year thinking it would be an easy A.  You basically learned methods for coping with being a teenager.   And Mr. Brown was fun.  We didn't sit at desks, heck, sometimes we didn't even sit in chairs.  This was a relaxing period, during a stressful year. It shouldn't have been an elective.  It should have been requi...

I have an addiction.  It's not drugs.  I don't smoke.  I don't even really drink alcohol.  But I do have a nasty habit.  I am a Carboholic.  Little Debbie and I are the best of friends.  I would switch teams for that girl, and move to a state that allowed same sex marriage if she were real. Mrs. Smith is quite high on my list of idols.  Sara Lee would be welcome in my house any day. A bag of potato chips doesn't stand a chance around me. Don't even get me started on fresh Italian bread... Seriously.  If it were possible to live on carbs alone I would do it.  Veggies and protein are only consumed out of necessity, but my starches are consumed out of love. For example.  The soon to be ex used to do all of the grocery shopping.  He did the cooking, so it only made sense that the person who planned and made the meals shopped for them, right?  One Spring he sprained his ankle, and couldn't drive, let alone hobble ...

I know.  Officially, according to the calender, winter hasn't even officially begun.  But I am ready for it to be over already. I've lived here my entire life.  I should be used to the white stuff.  Somehow, this year, I just can't take it.  Today on the way home from work I went off the road.  I've never gone off the road before.  After a panicked phone call to the soon to be ex, and then to the sitter to let her know I was going to be late, I called AAA.  While on hold listening to how busy they were, I got myself back and the road, and crawled the rest of the way home.  It's my tires.  I know that.  I didn't get them rotated, and now the front ones are bald.  The ex is working on new snow tires for me.  But, regardless, I'm done.  Done with winter.  Done with upstate NY weather.   Done, Done, Done! The good news, my sitter rocks and didn't care that I was going to be late, and thankfully my wonderful n...

Last night we had tri swim clinic.  I love ending my weekend this way.  Some of my best tri buddies are in the class, and it's just a great way to unwind and get ready for the week ahead.  I had to miss the last two because of family obligations one week, and a sick Bubba and a blizzard last week.  I had decided that regardless of weather or children I was going to make it yesterday.  And I did. One of the weeks I missed my Sunday class, a group of us went to swim one evening right before master's swim. Because we were in the lane next to them when they started, one of the women could see me swim under water.  I've been critiqued from the deck of the pool, but never from in the water.  This woman asked if she could give me advice.  Advise away my dear!  I will never turn down help from someone who is good enough to go to masters swim.  She said I bend my knees when I kick.  Creating drag.  Apparently, you're supposed to kick ...

How possible is it to be truly successful at the sport of triathlon on a shoestring budget?  What if being willing to give it your all emotionally, mentally and physically isn't good enough when you don't have the finances to back up the ambition?  How can an unsponsored, newly single mom, with a meager salary, survive the world of triathlon? My first triathlon happened because of a challenge from a friend.  My only goal had been to finish.  I borrowed a bike from a friend who had only done one half and one IronMan, and then retired from the sport.  My parents bought me a wetsuit for my birthday.  I bought a cheap pair of sneaks to run and bike in.  And all of my training was done on the side of the road and in public pools.  The only thing my first Iron Girl cost me was time and the entry fee. My second tri season, I joined the Y for use of the pool, my parents bought me a new bike, and I invested in better sneakers.  I also joined the l...

How does one come up with a race schedule?  How do you know what is too much, and what is not enough?  For 2010 I had lofty goals, but then life took an interesting turn and I ended up doing only one sprint tri, and a couple of road races.  Not at all what I had anticipated, but I won't dwell on the past.  Time to focus on the future. So, I've been tentatively thinking of what events are a must, and what events are wishful thinking.  Here is what I've come up with so far: Running Races: Tipp Hill Shamrock Run 4 mile hilly road run in early March Mountain Goat 10 mile, challenging course, early May.  Kicked my butt in 2010, I plan on owning it in 2011 Boilermaker 15k on July 10th Empire State Marathon - my first 26.2!  There will be a few 5ks and 10ks as well, but those will be time and financially based.  My only goal is to run a 5k and get below 25 minutes.  Might seem silly to some, but for me, it would be a great time.  I ...

I've posted about music before.  Music always helps me.  It helps me be happy, aids me in being miserable, pumps me up, brings me down.  There are now songs I can't listen to.  Our wedding song is one.  But I decided that I need a new theme song.  Sweet Caroline was not an option.  I needed something that made me think about how awesome my life was going to be.  Thanks to Kristin I have one.  If I have to listen to this song 25 times a day to remind myself that I am wonderful, I will.  It sums it all up so well. Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting through the wind Wanting to start again Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of cards One blow from caving in Do you ever feel already buried deep Six feet under scream But no one seems to hear a thing Do you know that there's still a chance for you Cause there's a spark in you You just gotta ignite the light And let it shine Just own the night Like th...

The last few days I have been in a not so great place.  I had friends suggesting I call the suicide prevention hotline.  I didn't eat for several days.  Things got ugly between soon to be ex and I.  Add to that many feet of snow falling at once, and I'm a wreck.  This morning was horrible.  The waist high snow bank at the foot of my driveway, the no longer present husband to help dig me out, and the impossible driving conditions once my neighbors rescued Ruby from the mounds of snow.  I got stuck going up the street to my sitters, stuck in her driveway, and almost pulled over and gave up on the way to work several times.  I was litterally in tears by the time I pulled into the unplowed parking lot at work.  The feeling in my chest that has been present since Friday afternoon was slowly taking me over.  I was going to snap. Then, I sat at my desk, and was trying to figure out who to call.  Who to tell that I might not be ok.  T...

Last night I got to swim with two very awesome ladies.  And while we may not have had a long work out, or a hard work out, it was a great work out.  Just what I needed.  Of course, master swim started while we were doing our slow and steady laps.  Nothing makes you feel more inferior than being the slowest person in the pool!  However, one of the women in the lane next to me gave me some advice about my kick.  Apparently I'm bending my knees to kick, and not kicking from the hip?  How has nobody told me this before?  So, now I have something to work on.  Maybe it will make me so fast that it won't matter that my run is hindered a little?  After swim we sat in the sauna and chatted.  That was nice too.  Have I mentioned before how blessed I am to have met so many wonderful people through the sport of triathlon?  As we were leaving, sweet, wonderful, wise beyond her years, Erin handed me a gift, and asked me not to open i...