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Faith

There were many people staying at 5 West with me.  In fact, they were at capacity.  I got the last bed.  Every single one of the people who I interacted with had an impact on me, and they will all remain in my heart for as long as I live.  They each played an important part in my healing process, and for that I wish I could thank them all personally.  But of all of the new "friends" I made, there is one young girl in particular whom I will always wonder how her life turned out.  Beautiful, young Faith (not her real name).

My first morning, when I was walking back to my room to lay down after breakfast, I noticed there was an aide posted outside one of the rooms, sitting on a chair.  He was there all day.  And in that room, laying in bed, was a sad young girl.  She never came out.  Not for at least that entire first full day.  I did see she got visitors.  But she didn't come eat with us.  Then one day she came out when the meals were brought, and carried her tray back to her room.  The next day her "guard" was no longer there, and she came and sat with us for lunch.  When we were walking back towards our rooms together, I told her I was glad she joined us to eat.  She smiled, just a little.  I then told her it was nice to see her smile.  That evening, she came out during "group" and sat in the back.  We were playing Family Feud.  She participated, but was barely audible with her quiet whisper.  I made sure to let her know I was happy she came to group.  Something about this beautiful girl was calling out to me.

The next day, Faith sat with me, and told me her story of why she was there.  I found out she was 20 years old, and had tried to take her life.  Thankfully, someone stopped her.  But I understood where she was coming from.  Why she did it.  Her story of how she got to that point was not the same as mine, yet, it wasn't all that much different.  She felt hopeless.  This bright, young, intelligent girl. filled with potential, didn't think her future was worth living for.  I'd been there once.  At the same age she is.  Only, getting pregnant saved my life.  5 West saved hers.

When she found out I was leaving on Monday morning, she was a little upset.  We had become friends, and I believe I helped her as much as she helped me.  I'm sure she is home by now.  Starting her life over.  Faith has decided to take a leave of absence from school.  I hope she goes back in the fall.  I hope she gets to live the life she dreamed she would have before depression stole the dreams away.  I will always remember Faith.  Every day.

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